How To... be with yourself

Gepubliceerd op 23 oktober 2023 om 22:55

A lot of people always tell me: ‘’It is so easy for you to be with yourself, I wish I could be with myself like that.’’ First of all-

Every time someone tells me this I want to punch them in the face.

How can you assume if something is easy or not easy for someone else? It might look easy from your point of view.

I can tell you it is not.

The only difference between you and me is that I am doing it whether I like it or not, and you rather stay in your comfort zone, so you’re not doing it.

It is literally a decision you make.


Do you decide to make your life ‘easy’ for yourself and always look for people when you can’t stand yourself? Or will you learn how to be with yourself and like your own company?


Obviously in the long-run your life won’t be easy if you keep looking for people and distractions around you to keep yourself distracted from being with
yourself. One way or another there is going to be a day -or days- where you’ll be stuck with yourself. It can be next week or it can be when you’re happily
married and suddenly your partner dies. You can not keep running from yourself forever
Of course, you can try if you like. That’s your own decision to make.
I tried it as well, until I hit rock-bottom. You know, you don’t have to wait for rock-bottom to sit with yourself.
It’s gonna suck for a while, but the sooner you start, the less it’s gonna suck. Trust me. And whenever you decide when you’re going to be with yourself and
learn from yourself, life will not throw it at you.

If you don’t decide for yourself when that’s gonna be, you’re left to the randomness of life and it’s gonna throw it at you at a random time.

Now, back to the title of this blog: ‘how to be with yourself?’
Honestly, I can't even tell you how to. I am not you and you are not me. How would I know what the F is going on in your mind?
The thing I can do is tell you what worked for me and you can take some things from that to add to your life, but you should only choose what works for you.
Every fucking human is unique so you really do need to sit with yourself and ask that shit to yourself. You know what you chose for when you came to my
website; no-fucking-self-pity.

Fucking sit with yourself and ask yourself: ‘How can I be with myself?’

I mean, I love to read books and paint and draw and write and go to cafés and lay in bed and visualize my best-life. Not everyone loves those things.


So sit with yourself, embrace yourself. Try new things, try old things. Look for validation within yourself. And fucking enjoy yourself. Whoever you choose to be:
⅓ of the population will love you, ⅓ of the population will hate you and ⅓ of the population will not give a flying shit about you.
So whatever you do, whoever you choose to be. You can never please everyone.

It honestly took me up until a few weeks ago to really embrace who I am and truly be myself. Always trying to please others and whatever they like to fucking
do, was the worst decision in my life. When I found out who I truly am and learned to love to be in my own company I don’t even fucking care anymore if
others like me or not. You know why? Because I don’t need them (they ain’t paying my rent or food on the table, are they?).
Maybe this is going to lead you to lose some people, if you are strong enough for that. It will make the relationship with yourself grow. I remember trying to
please guys, losing myself constantly. CONSTANTLY. And now I am finding myself again, day after day.
I’ll let you know; it ain’t easy and it’ll never be easy, you’ll never be finished peeling those layers, but it’s so worth it. ‘Cause you know why? You live with
yourself every single facking day of your life, and whatever you put energy towards grows.
So when you put more and more energy into loving yourself and creating a life for yourself you’re gonna keep growing and evolving.


And let me tell you a secret… Sometimes losing people is the best gift the Universe can ever give you. You know why? When you lose people becoming your true-self, it means doors that needed to be closed are finally closing. You know what doors closing means? Other doors are opening. To people where you don’t have to pretend to be someone you’re not. People who fucking love and embrace the real you. Where you’ll never-ever have to pretend to be someone you’re not ‘just to be liked’. And fuck yes, it is freeing.

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